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September 29, 2005 02:33 PM

Broken: (not broken) Nelson Rocks disclaimer

Finally, a disclaimer that makes sense and is even fun to read, in a sick sort of way:

The Preserve does not provide rangers or security personnel. The other people in the preserve, including other visitors, our employees, agents, and guests, and anyone else who might sneak in, may be stupid, reckless, or otherwise dangerous. They may be mentally ill, criminally insane, drunk, using illegal drugs and/or armed with deadly weapons and ready to use them. We aren't necessarily going to do anything about it. We refuse to take responsibility.

...By entering the Preserve, you are agreeing that we owe you no duty of care or any other duty. We promise you nothing. We do not and will not even try to keep the premises safe for any purpose. The premises are not safe for any purpose. This is no joke. We won't even try to warn you about any dangerous or hazardous condition, whether we know about it or not. If we do decide to warn you about something, that doesn't mean we will try to warn you about anything else. If we do make an effort to fix an unsafe condition, we may not try to correct any others, and we may make matters worse! We and our employees or agents may do things that are unwise and dangerous. Sorry, we're not responsible. We may give you bad advice. Don't listen to us. In short, ENTER AND USE THE PRESERVE AT YOUR OWN RISK. And have fun!

From the disclaimer of the Nelson Rocks Preserve, West Virginia, US.

(Thanks to Todd Jennings for the pointer.)


Wow, that's takes a breathtaking amount of chutzpah!

Posted by: Shannon at September 29, 2005 02:39 PM

It's just a wordy version of most of the other disclaimers out there.

Posted by: wow at September 29, 2005 02:50 PM

It's refreshing to see someone saying "Take some responsibility for yourself". Maybe this will aid in natural selection.

Posted by: Manni at September 29, 2005 03:09 PM

I love it. Definitely not broken.

Posted by: J. Scott at September 29, 2005 03:19 PM

Hear, hear! This is a cool disclaimer! I'm also glad not to be a rock climber!

Posted by: Bob at September 29, 2005 03:51 PM

One of the funniest on this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: no one at September 29, 2005 04:24 PM

"And have fun!"

That must be some undefined use of the word "fun" that I wasn't aware of...

Posted by: Chris at September 29, 2005 05:13 PM

That's a very nice disclaimer.

OXO used to hava a really good Terms of Use that lightly mocked the legalese that is forced upon the web user. They've since moved to a more standard one. I would post the URL needed for the Wayback machine, but the spam detector woudl trip.

Posted by: Carlos Gomez at September 29, 2005 05:31 PM

amazingly funny, and if all the disclaimers were like this, lawsuits would be so much funnier.

Posted by: stargate525 at September 29, 2005 05:44 PM

Love it! Definitely not broken. Besides not taking responsibility for ourselves, we also take ourselves way too seriously. We need more of these types of warnings. One I love is at the supermarket: Danger - High Winds. Please return carts to store. Let's try:

Listen you dork, it's windy out and the wind will blow an untended, uncorralled cart into some doctor's Jag and ding the door or even worse, knock a chunk of rust off a 1975 Buick so either put the cart in the corral or get some exercise and put it back in the store or the criminally insane cart rounder-upper kid will slash your tires first and then, who knows?

Posted by: Lady Jane at September 29, 2005 06:51 PM

thats amazing....

Posted by: Vic at September 29, 2005 06:54 PM

I find it sad that these disclaimers are considered necessarily now a day. It seems to me that it is a comment on how disassociated people are from the realities of the natural world(as opposed to city life). People are conscious of the dangers they live with every day but tend to forget that danger can exist in environments that have been idealized. (i.e.: the forest/mountain/ect... is not the Garden of Eden folks).

Sorry to drag down the mood of this post but this is something I consider broken in society.

That said I am glad to see some levity injected into the process of informing people.

Posted by: Sean P at September 29, 2005 07:43 PM

I want to work for them!

Anything I do they won't take responsibilty for!

It's a deam job.

Posted by: AnyKey at September 29, 2005 07:45 PM

"Don't listen to us."

Posted by: Golden at September 30, 2005 12:54 AM

so is it legal to kill someone inside the park boundaries?

At least you wouldn't get caught.

And once your dead, your dead. you were, after all, warned.

Posted by: hehehe at September 30, 2005 09:52 AM

Excellent disclaimer.

I hate the big trucks full of stuff flying off that have a sign "Stay Back 200 ft. Not Responsible for Broken Windshields!" as if the disclaimer makes them not responsible (since the law says that they are responsible, disclaimer or no, at least in this state).

Wonder if having a big sign around my neck saying, "Not Responsible for Murder" would absolve me if I killed someone?

Posted by: Pat at September 30, 2005 02:57 PM

Love, love, love it....

Posted by: aynne at September 30, 2005 03:04 PM

I find that most law suits are funny either on one isde or other. Reality the defendent generally did something dumb and is trying to claim that they didn't and everyone knows that they did. Or more likely the plantif did something even dumber and is trying to claim that the defendant should have figured out that they were an idiot and not let them do it. Of course some times the defendant should have.

Posted by: Ray Stevens at October 1, 2005 10:22 PM

Manni: What do you mean, "this will aid in natural selection"? It's all Intelligent Design(tm) on this planet! If a person is stupid enough to walk off a cliff, it's a design flaw. THEY are broken. ;-D

Posted by: Interlard at October 4, 2005 05:18 PM

wow this is nuts i want to work there ... i would do evil things and would be covered by the disclaimer ^^ you see that loose rock over there take that school of children over there its safe

Posted by: John at June 11, 2006 07:10 PM

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