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March 1, 2006 12:03 AM

Broken: Chocolate fountain experience

Not broken, necessarily, but from Chocolate Fountains of New Jersey comes this gem of marketingese:

Enjoy the cascading chocolate fountain experience at your next home party.

Thanks, Laurie K.



Figured I had to do this at least once.

Posted by: SillyGirl at March 1, 2006 09:40 AM

ugh what is the point with this "first" BS? What are we, kindergarteners vying for the big red ball at recess? Also what is wrong with a cascading chocolate fountain experience? I wouldn't have one at my next home party, but it's a neat product and a real conversation piece, why would it be on This Is Broken? so confused.

Posted by: GrammarChief at March 1, 2006 10:38 AM

I'm with GrammarChief. WTF? The "I'm first bit" has got to stop. I thought it did for a while. On top of that, if the item isn't broken "Not broken, necessarily", then why is it here? This website has gotten lame because of crap like this.

Posted by: Equally confused at March 1, 2006 11:02 AM

For the full WTF experience, see:

Posted by: mph at March 1, 2006 11:08 AM

Count me in with GC and EC ... Yes, we know that "experience" is overused marketingese. Yes, we know it's extremely lame. But c'mon, when even Ziggy cartoons are poking fun at it, we don't need to see yet another example posted here.

And yes, anybody who feels complled to post "First!" is definitely in need of a good slapping experience.

Posted by: E.T. at March 1, 2006 11:46 AM guys are so cranky.

Like you never give into temptation or anything.

All the time I look at these comments and someone does the first thing (and often it'll be the same few people) and so I felt compelled to do it just once. Especially since I didn't think the chocolate fountain would likely generate many comments, except for "not broken" posts.

And why complain about things being posted that aren't really broken (whether it's your opinion or specifically mentioned in the post). The one who runs this site can do whatever he wants and post whatever he wants. You're not paying to view the site or anything, so he doesn't owe you to only meet your standards of what's really broken.

You all seriously need to relax or something.

Posted by: SillyGirl at March 1, 2006 12:24 PM

Blah blah blah. We wouldn't be having this discussion if two things would have happened. 1) The stupid post for an unbroken item and 2) The stupid post for saying "I'm first". Drop both of those, then no problem.

Posted by: Equally confused at March 1, 2006 12:30 PM

The only thing broken about this is the fact that Big Kahunas calls this a classy touch to any party- classy for five year olds; tacky under any other circumstance.

Posted by: smartypants at March 1, 2006 12:37 PM

The only thing broken here is this website. Bye bye you really have turned quite pathetic.


Posted by: captain spaulding at March 1, 2006 01:26 PM

Now I'm LAST.

Posted by: Hooya at March 1, 2006 03:38 PM

Earlier this morning, this was a post about a parking garage ("please park between the white lines" with the lines actually painted yellow.) Now, it is an ad for some sort of chocolate fondue fountain thing. Was this a snafu by the editors, or a hack by a spammer?

Posted by: Brian Enigma at March 1, 2006 03:43 PM

What is broken, is the "right-click not allowed" on the chocolate fountain website (in Firefox anyway). Lame.

Posted by: jgf at March 1, 2006 10:15 PM

What's broken are the people who continuously post first like all they have to do with their lives is sit and wait for TIB to post something instead of having a life, finding broken stuff and posting it.

Posted by: Poindexter T Quakenfuss at March 1, 2006 10:30 PM

While I agree that the "first!" post is sophomoric, I also agree with "sillygirl;" you guys need to get a life & find something *important* to bitch about. You definitely come across as carmudgins!

Posted by: William the wis--s at March 1, 2006 11:47 PM

What I think is broken is that they are pushing a device that thoroughly exposes as much food as possible to every germ in the room by pumping it over a large surface area where people even touch it. I already have a bad cold right now.

Posted by: Timm at March 2, 2006 02:36 AM

And you have to worry about "double-dipping" That's why I've never liked gotta keep an eagle eye to prevent gross behavior...

Posted by: SillyGirl at March 2, 2006 10:02 AM

I say not broken at all - if you've ever been to a home party with a cascading chocolate fountain, you'd know it IS an experience! Strawberries... drenched in chocolate. Pineapple... drenched in chocolate. Nutter Butters... drenched in chocolate. And don't worry, Timm - I'm pretty sure the endorphins your body kicks out thanks to the happy cascading chocolate fountain experience kills all germs (and boosts your IQ by 10 points!)

Posted by: Amber at March 2, 2006 01:07 PM

Cough, cough, snort! hack! Yeah, (sniff) let me get my fingers into some of that there yummy chocolate. "cough"

Posted by: Timm at March 6, 2006 05:45 AM

Timm, you're an ass. Have you ever been to a party with a chocolate fountain? The chocolate is constantly flowing! It doesn't just sit in a bowl and gather various germs and viruses!

Posted by: This isn't a fake name at March 31, 2006 02:10 AM

But if it's like other fountains, the "constantly flowing" is the stuff pouring into the bottom and then getting sucked back up through and pouring out the top again. It's the same chocolate over and over. Wouldn't crums & stuff build-up, or is there some sort of "chocolate filter" or something?

Posted by: SillyGirl at March 31, 2006 10:05 AM

I'm sure the heat that's used to keep the chocolate flowing will kill any possible micro organisims. As far as crumbs go, most people use fruits and everyone knows fruit leaves no crumbs.

Posted by: Crash_3289 at March 31, 2006 01:07 PM

I'm sorry if anyone was grossed out by my above comment but I really did have a miserable cold that I wouldn't wish on anyone.(that had some influence on my sarcastic comment) I certainly would not go near a chocolate fountain with such a cold but there are people who would. I am honestly concerned about peoples well-being. If you're offended by what some ass prints on the internet you might be too sensitive. Any one who calls me an ass has just made an ass out of themselves.

Posted by: Timm at April 1, 2006 12:32 AM

Will you guys shut up? I mean, did you pay no attention to the little "Posted in Misc" part at the bottom? Oh wait, you're too busy trying to start fights with "SillyGirl"

Posted by: joe at April 1, 2006 06:57 PM

I agree with the broken-because-tacky assessment.

Posted by: Karen at May 27, 2006 12:12 PM

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