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August 3, 2005 09:44 AM

Broken: First lines of bad novels

It's that time of year again... The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest rewards the worst first lines of (imagined) novels.



booh yah!!

funny btw

Posted by: kip at August 3, 2005 10:01 AM

it may be bad but at least it isn't cliché.


Posted by: Sean P at August 3, 2005 11:10 AM

Enough with the "first!" comments already. Nobody cares.

Although it would have been funny if the first comment here had been in full Bulwer-Lytton bad-fiction style. "booh yah!!": what a missed opportunity.

Posted by: James Kew at August 3, 2005 12:50 PM

James Kew, the poster who posted a post before I posted my post, made an excellent point in his post, and I agree that kip missed a great opportunity when he posted the first post, which wasn't a funny post, which is sad for the reason James Kew stated when he posted his post.

Posted by: Kevin at August 3, 2005 01:09 PM

It was a dark & stormy post?

Posted by: Different Kevin at August 3, 2005 01:34 PM

Actually, some of them make good opening lines for satirical novels.

Posted by: Citizen Of Trantor at August 3, 2005 02:05 PM

That's true.

Posted by: Bob at August 3, 2005 03:34 PM

Many of them are Douglas Adams-esque.

Posted by: Bob at August 3, 2005 03:35 PM

The fiction contest results list was long, but full of gems, like a long train leaving a diamond mine, full of rocks and dirt on its way to the processing facility that looks for the diamonds.

Posted by: Another Bob at August 3, 2005 05:31 PM

Some of those tortured metaphors reminded me of this site I came across:

I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like

Posted by: PatheticPeripatetic at August 4, 2005 12:10 AM

this reminds me of snoopy from the peanuts who was always trying to become an author.

Posted by: tool at August 4, 2005 05:15 AM

tool, it should. Snoopy was doing a Bulwer-Lytton.

Posted by: sparky at August 5, 2005 11:50 PM

What's broken about that? The picture on that page is actually part of an advertisement.

Posted by: Lars at October 15, 2005 08:06 PM

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