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A project to make businesses more aware of their customer experience, and how to fix it. By Mark Hurst. |
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Previous: Logitech Bluetooth headphones | Main | Next: Citibank under fraud attack
March 6, 2006 12:03 AM
Broken: Turkey Jerky package description
"Turkey jerky isn't just a snack... it's a snacking experience!"
Uhhhh... no, it's a snack.
Who writes this stuff?
_@_v - it's the she-snailie experience!
if you can just get your gmind together
then come on across to me
we'll hold hand and then we'll watch the sunrise
From the bottom of the sea
but first, are you experienced?
have you ever been experienced?
well, i have
i know, i know you probably scream and cry
That your little world won't let you go
but who in your measly little world
are you trying to prove that
you're made out of gold and, eh, can't be sold
so, are you experienced?
have you ever been experienced?
well, i have
let me prove you...
trumpets and violins i can hear in distance
i think they're calling our names
maybe now you can't hear them, but you will
if you just take hold of my hand
oh, but are you experienced?
have you ever been experienced?
not necessarily stoned, but beautiful...
They don't, they use the sloganizer
http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?
Super Jerky is Almost Here.
I write this stuff! (though I didn't write this lame package) - I'm a marketing copywriter.
Yes, that opening sentence is empty hyperbole. But to me what's broken about the copy is that the rest of the paragraph doesn't support the premise - it goes on to talk about ingredients and processes, not what the presumed "snacking experience" actually is!
Should contain phrases like "... the delightful texture of tender turkey... unique blend of spices that makes your mouth water ... bracing taste of rich smoke flavoring... melt in your mouth..." etc. That's all pretty crappy but you get the idea.
Broken.
Has anyone noticed the irony of "broken at goodexperience.com"? It's not just This Is Broken, it's the This Is Broken EXPERIENCE! ;)
Anything that extolls the wonders of something called "Turkey Jerky", let alone does so as a "snacking experience", is automatically broken.
Oh that first sentence is sooo overused. Don't even get me started on stale marketing messages. The root of the problem is the gullible people that buy the product, therefore the marketing people get more money, and so they continue to use it.
Am I having a "Deja Vu" or what?
Didn't we already discussed the use of the word "experience" in marketing lingo just a few weeks ago?
Why go back to the same subject if there was wide consensus that it was broken to "convert" everything into an experience?
The same happened last year when someone complained about writing with light gray text on white background, and it was agreed that it was broken because it was har to read, but people kept sending examples of gray on white for weeks.
In my opinion, it's broken to submit entries on subjects that were already discussed.
I see that we've been asked for more submissions... are things really so bad that we've had to see 2 postings in the last few weeks both about the misuse of "experience"?
Not broken, because by definition this is marketing fluff.
When I'm buying stuff like this, I look at the price first, then (if I can) what the product actually looks like, and finally the ingredients. I never read the 'fine print' marketing fluff unless it's a product I'm totally unfamiliar with.
Let's put it this way -- if the price was OK and the jerky looked decent (and, of course, assuming I actually WANTED to snack on chewy chunks of dry meat soaked in salt and fake smoke flavor), then I would buy this -- regardless of whether it was promoted as an "experience" or not.
Now I know why this was familiar... this was already on Mark Hurst's blog a couple weeks ago, http://www.goodexperience.com/blog/ and scroll about 2/3 down the page. A lot of us probably read both this site and that one, so let's cut out the duplicates please!
uh, actually people like me write that crap. Luckily most of it is sarcastic bitter bathering to please clients...but sometimes we really are that stupid.
It feels great to sell your soul for a few bucks.
Even worse... read further down and note that the Turkey Jerky is "carb conscious."
I hate food that is conscious in any way. Even yogurt gives me the creeps.
Comments on this entry are closed
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This isn't just a comment, it's the first comment experience.
This isn't just a website, it's the broken experience.
This isn't just a computer, it's a technological experience.
This isn't just a gunshot, it's the homicide experience.
When will it end?
Posted by: =David at March 6, 2006 12:35 AM