Search this site:


March 6, 2006 12:03 AM

Broken: Turkey Jerky package description


"Turkey jerky isn't just a snack... it's a snacking experience!"

Uhhhh... no, it's a snack.

Who writes this stuff?


This isn't just a comment, it's the first comment experience.

This isn't just a website, it's the broken experience.

This isn't just a computer, it's a technological experience.

This isn't just a gunshot, it's the homicide experience.

When will it end?

Posted by: =David at March 6, 2006 12:35 AM

_@_v - it's the she-snailie experience!

if you can just get your gmind together

then come on across to me

we'll hold hand and then we'll watch the sunrise

From the bottom of the sea

but first, are you experienced?

have you ever been experienced?

well, i have

i know, i know you probably scream and cry

That your little world won't let you go

but who in your measly little world

are you trying to prove that

you're made out of gold and, eh, can't be sold

so, are you experienced?

have you ever been experienced?

well, i have

let me prove you...

trumpets and violins i can hear in distance

i think they're calling our names

maybe now you can't hear them, but you will

if you just take hold of my hand

oh, but are you experienced?

have you ever been experienced?

not necessarily stoned, but beautiful...

Posted by: shesnailie_@_v at March 6, 2006 12:47 AM

They don't, they use the sloganizer

Super Jerky is Almost Here.

Posted by: keno at March 6, 2006 02:36 AM

I write this stuff! (though I didn't write this lame package) - I'm a marketing copywriter.

Yes, that opening sentence is empty hyperbole. But to me what's broken about the copy is that the rest of the paragraph doesn't support the premise - it goes on to talk about ingredients and processes, not what the presumed "snacking experience" actually is!

Should contain phrases like "... the delightful texture of tender turkey... unique blend of spices that makes your mouth water ... bracing taste of rich smoke flavoring... melt in your mouth..." etc. That's all pretty crappy but you get the idea.


Posted by: andrew Tonkin at March 6, 2006 07:15 AM

Is it a good snacking exerience?

Posted by: Bob at March 6, 2006 08:05 AM

Has anyone noticed the irony of "broken at"? It's not just This Is Broken, it's the This Is Broken EXPERIENCE! ;)

Anything that extolls the wonders of something called "Turkey Jerky", let alone does so as a "snacking experience", is automatically broken.

Posted by: game kid at March 6, 2006 09:18 AM

Turkey jerky sounds like something turkey breeders do.

Posted by: The Damned Ghost Of Tookie at March 6, 2006 11:00 AM

Can we add "the X experience" to the list of things done to death here soon?

Posted by: rich at March 6, 2006 11:04 AM

Oh that first sentence is sooo overused. Don't even get me started on stale marketing messages. The root of the problem is the gullible people that buy the product, therefore the marketing people get more money, and so they continue to use it.

Posted by: Nameless at March 6, 2006 02:49 PM

Am I having a "Deja Vu" or what?

Didn't we already discussed the use of the word "experience" in marketing lingo just a few weeks ago?

Why go back to the same subject if there was wide consensus that it was broken to "convert" everything into an experience?

The same happened last year when someone complained about writing with light gray text on white background, and it was agreed that it was broken because it was har to read, but people kept sending examples of gray on white for weeks.

In my opinion, it's broken to submit entries on subjects that were already discussed.

Posted by: Sam at March 6, 2006 02:52 PM

It's not Deja Vu... This same post was posted recently right here... Can't find it though...

Posted by: k00ld00d at March 6, 2006 03:14 PM

I see that we've been asked for more submissions... are things really so bad that we've had to see 2 postings in the last few weeks both about the misuse of "experience"?

Posted by: Alex B at March 6, 2006 06:14 PM

Not broken, because by definition this is marketing fluff.

When I'm buying stuff like this, I look at the price first, then (if I can) what the product actually looks like, and finally the ingredients. I never read the 'fine print' marketing fluff unless it's a product I'm totally unfamiliar with.

Let's put it this way -- if the price was OK and the jerky looked decent (and, of course, assuming I actually WANTED to snack on chewy chunks of dry meat soaked in salt and fake smoke flavor), then I would buy this -- regardless of whether it was promoted as an "experience" or not.

Posted by: Alex B at March 6, 2006 06:18 PM

Now I know why this was familiar... this was already on Mark Hurst's blog a couple weeks ago, and scroll about 2/3 down the page. A lot of us probably read both this site and that one, so let's cut out the duplicates please!

Posted by: Alex B at March 6, 2006 07:00 PM

uh, actually people like me write that crap. Luckily most of it is sarcastic bitter bathering to please clients...but sometimes we really are that stupid.

It feels great to sell your soul for a few bucks.

Posted by: whitney at March 7, 2006 03:10 PM

Even worse... read further down and note that the Turkey Jerky is "carb conscious."

I hate food that is conscious in any way. Even yogurt gives me the creeps.

Posted by: Pat at March 7, 2006 03:11 PM

I thought they kill the beef before packaging it.

Maybe yogurt is more conscious than we think...

Posted by: James at March 15, 2006 10:52 PM

I would rather eat the bag.

Posted by: Timm at March 30, 2006 01:56 AM

This isn't just a post, it's a posting experience.

Posted by: Clayton at May 27, 2006 01:28 AM

Comments on this entry are closed

Previous Posts: