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June 29, 2006 12:03 AM

Broken: Microsoft survey

MsCary Lee points out:

The question "Are there children present in your household?" gives two possible answers:
"Yes" and "No plans to purchase."

No, I have no plans to buy any children!


I've been thinking of upgrading my current child whenever the new version comes out, but only if he's running Vista right out of the box-

Posted by: abcdario at June 29, 2006 12:17 AM

It shocks me how nobody at these multi-million dollar companies has anyone look over their text. It would take very little cost compared to the great protection of the customer's experience. It's this kind of thing that gets people to view such a company as too large and lumbering to take care of a simple task. In fact, this may not be far from the truth.

Posted by: BlastYoBoots at June 29, 2006 12:22 AM

some things are only funny a few times, then they get old.

this isn't one of them. Holy sh.It's an instant classic.

Posted by: gmangw at June 29, 2006 12:41 AM

They're catching up to even AOL's impossibly-high levels of o_0.

Posted by: gamekid at June 29, 2006 12:45 AM

It is talking about underground Mexico.

Posted by: Cameron at June 29, 2006 12:45 AM

They're gonna have to be careful with this one. Child buying is kinda illegal these days.

Posted by: Lefty-Chef at June 29, 2006 12:53 AM

No, I have no plans to purchase any children.

Posted by: Michael at June 29, 2006 01:02 AM

Very Broken indeed. But to Cary Lee:

1. Why do you use Internet Explorer? Use Firefox.

2. Why are you completing a survey for MS?

3. Why do you use Microsoft Office? Use

Good that you use Google and that you are showing how stupid Microsoft is, though!

Posted by: k00ld00d at June 29, 2006 02:01 AM

This is a good example of poor proofreading and/or poor testing. Ever get a pop-up message box with something like "Windows has encountered a serious error." (there is no other choice) WHAT IF ITS NOT OK, what do I do?

Posted by: 4 fingered sushi chef at June 29, 2006 02:15 AM

Yay another Google Toolbar user!

Posted by: Sea at June 29, 2006 04:53 AM

Yay for censorship!

Posted by: gorckat at June 29, 2006 10:11 AM

This is certainly broken, and also pretty funny, but let's be reasonable. Microsoft must produce 100,000 public-facing words a day, across websites and product documentation and who knows what else. Even proofreaders make mistakes.

Posted by: Rob at June 29, 2006 10:13 AM

Gotta love Microsoft. Maybe they think they're so big they can buy children with al the money they scam off people.

Posted by: Echo35 at June 29, 2006 10:21 AM


Hehe, here I am bashing Microsoft and I can't even type it right :)

Posted by: Echo35 at June 29, 2006 10:22 AM

Broken Item Of The Month, easily. :)

Posted by: The Damned Ghost Of Tookie at June 29, 2006 10:44 AM

Want to bet that the problem is outsourcing. Probably the person who wrote the survey doesn't actually speak English.

On the other hand maybe they know something we don't. Is it possible this is why I see so many children in shopping carts at the store ;-)

Posted by: Ray Stevens at June 29, 2006 11:15 AM

New from Microsoft: Child 2.0! Available in Home and Professional editions.

Posted by: Fuzzy at June 29, 2006 01:24 PM

Well, I admit that many years ago I asked humorously someone when they were going to upgrade their dog to color.

The dog had fur that looked like the result of displaying a color picture on a monochrome screen.

Posted by: Loren Pechtel at June 29, 2006 05:49 PM

well I bought my first kid from microsoft 2 years ago. I have to reboot him every 20 minutes or he gets that blue screen look in the face.

Posted by: ello at June 29, 2006 07:09 PM

you know, this could also mean

"no- plans to buy" i.e. I don't have any but I have plans to buy some. the message still isn't any better, though.

Posted by: Wazoo_22 at June 29, 2006 09:59 PM

Is similar to the Crest survey I recently took. It was for a new mouthwash coupon.

Q1 Asked where you saw the ad. It had a bunch of

different TV channels. They weren't in alphabetical order. Last choice was "I don't know or can't remember". Thing is I DID remember but the chnl wasn't listed. Whatever happened to the old standby "other"?

Q2 Was what brand mouthwash you use. Last choice was "I don't use mouthwash"

Q3 was all about how often you use mouthwash.

The kicker to this madness was you had to pick an answer for each question. I sent them an E and

told them it was the absolute worst survey I had ever seen and asked if anyone actually spent more than 5 minutes making it up. They actually answered and said they would forward my comments to the proper people. I must admit though when the coupon arrived there was a letter from the

woman that had replied to my E and it stated that she did pass on the info. Wasn't the normal canned letter by any means. I thought that was a nice touch.

My vote on the post: BROKEN

P.S. I agree 100% with k00ld00d about Firefox. It runs rings around that POS IE. Plus there are a ton of really great extensions you can add.

Posted by: SparkS at June 29, 2006 10:04 PM

Heh. I'm pretty sure I know what caused this, since I ran across a similar problem in an app I support, not long ago.

SELECT id, answer FROM answers WHERE answer LIKE '%No%'

I'm not fond of that developer.

Posted by: beentheredonethat at June 30, 2006 12:25 AM

Can't forget Child 2.0 Server Edition! Oh! Pocket Child. And Apple is now shipping iChild and iChild Pro in White, or by popular demand, Black. I like Apple. They sell uncrashable Children.

Posted by: Cameron at June 30, 2006 12:44 AM

If you're in the market for children, consider buying an orphan:

I did a double-take...

Posted by: Myself at June 30, 2006 12:52 PM

What the---!?????

OFMG that's the funniest thing today!

Funny and partially BROKEN!

Posted by: Another guy named Alex B at June 30, 2006 08:38 PM

Hah! Like I'd buy a child from Microsoft. They only have a 10 year warrenty. Any design flaws that show up after puberty is no longer their problem.

Posted by: Fayth at June 30, 2006 10:21 PM

Beyond the inherent stupidity of the second answer, it appears to me that this survey implies choosing only one of the 2 optional answers. The thing is that both answers are not mutually exclusive.

What I mean is, I have children present in my household, but at the same time I don't have any plans to "purchase" any additional children. Then, both answers are true and correct, but apparently I'm forced to choose only one of them. If so, which one should I choose?

The same applies in the opposite direction, maybe there's someone who doesn't have any children at home and at the same time is not planning to have any. Both answers are correct. Which one should he choose?


Posted by: Sam at July 3, 2006 11:45 AM

Just bad punctuation, but the message isn't broken.

Obviously, everyone wants a new, state of the art, MS developed child, so there can be no "No" option. The only possible responses from any reasonable people would by "Yes" or "No, I have yet to buy one"

Posted by: realsaddam at July 3, 2006 11:52 AM

You stole my idea!

that's the first time someone's liked what I posted! :)

Posted by: Wazoo_22 at July 5, 2006 07:41 PM

In an attempt to avoid beating that joke to death, I noticed that Microsoft calls their software "software productivity suites."

1. I assume that means Microsoft considers it productive for workers to swear at their computers when Microsoft Word crashes and erases their work.

2. "Software productivity suite"? Can't they come up with something more elegant and less long-winded? Well, in that case, I guess the one I use most is Microsoft Place of Business Where Professional or Clerical Duties are Performed.

Posted by: Poochy.EXE at July 6, 2006 03:14 PM

Bill Gates is kiddnaping children and seloing them?!?!? are you sure he isn't related to micheal Jackson

Posted by: shutle34 at July 6, 2006 03:16 PM

that should be selling

Posted by: shuttle34 at July 6, 2006 03:17 PM

that should be funny

Posted by: someone at July 6, 2006 09:27 PM

Remember the Microsoft motto:

If you can't beat them, buy them.

Microsoft can't beat children,

Posted by: wafflecannon at August 8, 2006 09:19 PM

Remember the Microsoft motto:

If you can't beat them, buy them.

Microsoft can't beat children,

Posted by: wafflecannon at August 8, 2006 09:20 PM

Remember the Microsoft motto:

If you can't beat them, buy them.

Microsoft can't beat children,

Posted by: wafflecannon at August 8, 2006 09:21 PM

OMG... This happens to me too much... I hate it. It seems that my post didn't go through, but it did.

Posted by: wafflecannon at August 8, 2006 09:22 PM

its simple typo in the text get over it.

Posted by: PC_nut at May 3, 2007 05:35 AM

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